


Wilting

by dontbecruelx



Series: Valentines Prompts 2021 [5]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Anime Spoilers, Depressing, Depression, Emotional Hurt, Erwin didn't come home, Flowers, He's tired, Hurt Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Mentions of Suicide, Prompt Fic, This is canon in my head idc, but yeah, levi wilts, making up tags again, this is just sad tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:22:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29238249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontbecruelx/pseuds/dontbecruelx
Summary: Rain pattering on the window. For days and days. It never seemed to stop. And it didn’t wash away how he was feeling, as much as he wished it would. Levi didn’t leave his room. It wasn’t like he had to, anyway.Everyone left him alone.Everyone knew he didn’t get to say goodbye.Everyone knew he would kill anyone that even dared knock on his bedroom door.Their bedroom door.He was tired.So, so tired. His entire body ached. Still.And he sat to wilt. Just like the flowers Erwin had picked for him on the morning of retaking wall Maria.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Series: Valentines Prompts 2021 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137776
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	Wilting

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Flowers 
> 
> Thanks Jade!

Rain pattering on the window. For days and days. It never seemed to stop. And it didn’t wash away how he was feeling, as much as he wished it would. Levi didn’t leave his room. It wasn’t like he had to, anyway. 

Everyone left him alone. 

Everyone knew he didn’t get to say goodbye.

Everyone knew he would kill anyone that even dared knock on his bedroom door. 

Their bedroom door. 

He was tired. 

So, so tired. His entire body ached. Still. 

And he sat to wilt. Just like the flowers Erwin had picked for him on the morning of retaking wall Maria.

How he’d smiled that day. It was a morning filled with hope, glory on the horizon. And Erwin was… He was going to get what he’d been wanting since he was a child. His selfish desire to get to the basement. His selfish desire Levi had… What had he done?

He watched the roses every day, a lovely canary shade. As the leaves started to drop.

As the petals began to fall.

He wondered how long it had been.

A week, perhaps?

Flowers never lasted long.

Levi wasn’t sure how much longer he’d last, either. 

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to die, or if he just wanted it all to stop. 

The exhaustion wasn’t going away, but he couldn’t slumber. No matter how he tried. 

Time seemed to blur. For the first time, he was unsure of the days passing. 

He wanted to do something, anything. 

Anything to make it stop. 

Anything to distract him. 

But he couldn’t. 

All he could do was sit at the table by the window in his bedroom. The table they used to sit at so many nights prior. How long had it been again?

He felt like it would be wrong. Wrong if he got up and moved. Wrong if he spoke to anyone. Wrong if he did anything but think of him. 

And he couldn’t, anyway. Not even if he tried. Which he didn’t. 

His mind swam with the memories. The sweet nights filled with crude jokes and laughter. 

The sultry nights underneath the sheets in their shared bed. 

The cool nights where the wind blew through the exact window he sat by, while they embraced each other, skin to skin. Nothing between them. 

The winter night when he said ‘I love you’ for the first time. And Levi replied that he loved him, too. 

He was so, so tired. And there was so much work to do. So much to prepare for. 

Erwin never got to know the truth. 

Erwin never got to the basement. 

Erwin never saw the bright blue of the ocean. 

But Levi did. 

Why?

He thought over his decision so many times. He knew. He knew in his heart it was time to let him rest. He knew in his soul that Erwin had already decided. 

He knew it would be selfish to bring him back. 

He watched him slap his hand away. 

But still. 

It didn’t take it away. 

It didn’t stop the hurt. 

He didn’t get to say goodbye. 

He was already gone. 

When he told him to rest. 

After a while, his mind was blank. Empty. He couldn’t think anymore. For the first time in his life, his brain was unable to focus on anything. 

Anything other than the flowers. 

The same colour as his hair. 

He didn’t even try.    
  
He thought it was what he deserved. 

He didn’t do it. 

He didn’t chase him. 

He should have. 

Zeke Jaeger. 

The holder of the beast.

How long would it take?

How long would he have to wait? 

How many sleepless nights would he have to spend? 

He laughed when he had that thought, as though he ever slept in the first place. 

He could only rest when he was with him. 

He could only sleep when he was with him. 

He always followed his orders. He trusted him implicitly. He would have died for him. He could have died for him. Yet he told him to let go of his dream. And die himself. 

He knew, of course, he knew. 

He knew it was the right thing to do. 

If anything could be considered right in the damned world they lived in. 

They wouldn’t have charged if their commander wasn’t by their side. 

They wouldn’t have charged if they didn’t know Levi was going for the kill. 

But still. 

All he could do was sit. 

All he could do was sit with the pain. 

His heart aching. 

His body sore. 

His mind tired.

  
  


The vase was right in the middle of the table. And other than daily water changes, he didn’t touch them. 

Did he want to die? Like flowers? Somehow, they looked nice as they wilted. 

It took days. 

Days and days of waiting and sitting and staring at nothing but yellow until the last petal fell onto the table.

Levi’s eyes widened. He picked up the vase and threw it against the wall. 

“I’m going to fucking kill that beast.” He said as he sunk to his knees and cried for the first time since he died.

“I’ll do it.” He wept, reaching up and grabbing a dying petal.

It was soft between his fingers. He wondered if he felt soft, even though he was dying, too.

“I’ll do it and then I’ll join you, commander.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
